You have achieved so many things since you came into this world unable to talk, walk and care for yourself, dependent entirely on others for your very survival.
But sometimes you may feel anxious ; you fear you will fall at the next hurdle ; you may think people don’t like you; or you forget that you have dealt with a similar situation before and have the skills and experience to try something different. Join the club!
having confidence in yourself has many benefits:-
- you spend less time and energy in worrying about what might never happen.
- you feel more optimistic about life in general.
- you give the impression of well-being and competence in whatever you do, that in turn gives other people confidence in you.
- you are able to take necessary “risks” and to try new things without being held back by the fear of failure.
- your focus and concentration is not distracted by worry so your ability to perform increases.
- you are more able to persevere when the going gets tough, because you have faith in your ability to deal with what comes your way.
hypnotherapy can help you gain greater self-confidence by:-
- helping you to focus and concentrate.
- giving you relaxation skills to help in challenging situations.
- enabling you to access your skills and knowledge at an unconscious as well as at a conscious level.
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This is about knowing yourself well enough to know what you can handle, and what you need to make extra effort with.
It is your confidence in your ability to cope with the basic challenges life brings.
It is also your belief that you have the right to be successful and happy in what you do, and that you are entitled to say what you want and to stand up for yourself.
When you have self esteem, you do not have that critic sitting on your shoulder forever judging you by impossible standards! Instead you have a friendly voice that tells you that mistakes, setbacks and problems happen to everyone and that they are opportunities to learn and go forward; that no-one is perfect and the world a more interesting place because of that.
hypnotherapy can help you build up your self esteem by :-
- removing negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs.
- increasing your ability to think positively and optimistically.
- helping you to take care of yourself.
- enabling you to behave in a more assertive way in situations when your self esteem is lower than usual.
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Rationally you know that there will always be new situations arising and that everything is in a constant process of change. But some situations you may find more daunting than others, perhaps because your brain pattern matches them to similar occasions and feelings in the past and links them to feeling out of control, or in danger. Your brain has evolved to recognise unknown situations as being inherently dangerous, and so it immediately releases adrenalin to get your body ready for the 'fight or flight' response , so all energy goes to the muscles in your arms, legs and heart, and your brain narrows its focus.
hypnotherapy can help you deal with a fear of unknown situations by:-
- giving you the skills to relax quickly whenever you need to.
- scrambling old learned responses in your brain and replacing them with new and more positive ones.
- building up your self confidence in dealing with anything that might come your way.
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Are there some occasions where you find it hard to say what you want or don’t want, or perhaps someone who you feel you have to say ‘yes’ to anything they ask you for? Maybe you feel that it is easier to let someone else make the decisions as what you decide will always be wrong in their eyes- but underneath you feel resentful, and perhaps disappointed in yourself ?
Assertive skills are exactly that – skills that you have in many situations and can learn to use in situations where you find it difficult.
The basic premise of assertiveness is Respect : respect for the other person, and respect for yourself. Each person has a right to their own feelings, thoughts and actions- even when you disagree! – and you have the same rights too.
the main assertive skills are:-
- say simply and clearly what you are feeling.
- use the phrase “I feel …when…( never “you make me feel …”) – blame isn’t the game here.
- describe briefly and specifically what the other person’s behaviour is.
- say specifically what you want to happen instead.
- if you can say it without waffling, say what the good consequences will be.
For example : “I feel you don’t care very much for me when you come in the door and switch on the television and don’t ask how my day has been. I would like you to spend five minutes asking me what I’ve been doing and listening to what I say before you watch the television. Then I will feel that you are interested in me and I won’t keep trying to get your attention by making a noise and interrupting what you are watching.”
how hypnotherapy can help you become more assertive when you want to be by:-
- helping you realise what you do when you are being assertive, and transferring those feelings and skills into other situations.
- rehearsing confrontational situations and developing different ways of dealing with them.
- by helping you increase your self-confidence and self-belief at an unconscious level as well as consciously.
- by enabling you to relax before any situation you find hard.
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